Coping with Divorce as a Mother: Tips for a Smoother Transition

8th February 2023

Divorce is difficult, no matter whose fault it is. Sometimes, no one is at fault. Couples grow apart and can no longer find common ground. In 2021, Australia and many other countries saw a spike in divorces.

The final number for Australia was 56,244. It's been thirty-five years since they saw numbers that high. Knowing how to deal with divorce when children are involved often impacts mums differently.

Regardless of the circumstances, you can lessen the stress and uncertainty of life during and after the divorce. Rely on your friends and family to help you through the process. It will go a long way in facilitating a smooth transition into life as single parents.

We created a list of helpful tips for mothers dealing with divorce and single parenting. Keep reading for a quick parenting guide.

How to Deal With Divorce

Fear is a common feeling when faced with divorce. You can't really comprehend what's happening and why. Once you get over the shock, you must investigate your legal options.

Knowing your legal options makes you a participant in the process and not a recipient. You'll feel more in control when you accept the reality of the situation.

When a divorcing couple has minor children, divorce can take longer. You've probably heard horror stories about lengthy custody battles. Or a non-custodial parent not wanting to pay spousal or child support.

an infographic that outlines the factors that affect spousal maintenance

Don't allow yourself to become consumed with negative thoughts. Instead, try to work out a mutual agreement with your spouse.

Parenting Arrangements

Parenting arrangements are defined in Section 55A of the Family Law Act. The court will take several things into consideration. They must be satisfied with the arrangements made concerning the couple's minor children. Arrangements include:

The court aims to understand what considerations are given to minor children. This part of the application should be finished, whether sole or joint.

In the event of a joint application, the parties must come up with a parenting plan they both like. On the rare occasion that the court is not satisfied with the arrangements, the court may adjourn the proceedings until a family consultant has reviewed the report.

Staying Focused Through the Process

You can't place too much emphasis on the outcome of the custody portion of the divorce. Just understand that this is part of the process.

Divorce is a significant life transition, and everyone is afraid of change. You are entitled to be terrified. However, today is not your last. You will eventually realise that there are benefits you never imagined existed.

Know that co-parenting is a reality for thousands of divorced parents. Work together to create a silver lining in your separation.

You should no longer focus on pleasing your soon-to-be former spouse. Instead, focus on your happiness and moving forward as a single parent.

Don't Rush Things

When experiencing a divorce, mothers often make the mistake of rushing into their next relationship. Even if he's moved on, you don't have to feel like you're in a competition.

Enjoy being single and exploring the woman you've become since the last time you were single. Chances are, you didn't have children during that time in your life. Now you need to navigate dating as a single parent.

The reason for the divorce isn't as important as learning from the experience. Invest in yourself and understand where you are emotional. Become an improved version of who you were before your divorce.

Ending a marriage has different nuisances when you have children. However, the feeling of loneliness is a part of your growth. Experience emotions rather than ignore them.

If not, you might enter a new relationship with old baggage. You can easily end up in a perpetual cycle of failed relationships.

Learn to be alone with yourself again, and cherish the woman you've become.

Boundaries are Important

The dynamics of your relationship have changed, and so should your boundaries. You and your ex-partner will always share the children you have together. However, this does not mean how you interact with each other will remain the same.

Don't let your ex-partner intimidate you or take advantage of your guilt and confusion about how to act during the divorce. Mutual friends and family members should be allies to you both.

Avoid trying to maintain certain traditions or interactions. It's common for divorce mothers to want their kids to be as unaffected by the divorce as possible. Spending too much time together can confuse the kids and your ex.

It's best to let the children know that things have changed. Explain that the family structure no longer exists as they knew it.

Plan a new normal. Divorced parents working together is best, but don't create a false reality where boundaries are easily crossed. You'll find both of your lives as single parents less confusing when everyone understands what's acceptable.

Become Financially Literate

Today, women are less likely not to understand finances. A single parent coming out of a divorce needs to understand their current finances and ensure the bills get paid.

You must know what is entering and leaving the bank account. Make a financial plan to visualise what you will need for child support and alimony. Explore ways to reduce spending and focus on your financial future.

Don't disregard your financial situation or give up your rights. How you and your family will live is influenced in the long run by the choices you make now. Consult with a financial planner who works with women following a divorce.

You've Got This!

There are plenty of successful divorced mothers. One thing that is making a significant difference in how to deal with a divorce is women deciding not to go through a divorce alone. Resources are available whether you are considering getting a divorce or are already going through the process.

Divorce Support Resources:

Koolik & Associates Lawyers is here to assist you with a divorce involving children. Contact us today to speak with one of our divorce lawyers.

Please note the contents of this post is information only and not legal advice. 
If you require legal advice it is best to contact one of our lawyers who can review your particular circumstances and then provide tailored advice according to your needs

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